yesterday, all routine joking and laughter aside, the conversation turned strangely honest in a quick beat. this is how it usually unfolds—the laughing, the inside jokes, the quieting down, talks about the future—it always leads back to there, like some strange gravitational pull. i forget in which context i said this, more than likely on the subject of college, but i asked him, “whats too far?”. he took a second before he replied, i remember that much, and then proceeded, “where you are”.

i’m thinking about that moment, as small as it may have seemed, and i swear, i should have kissed him right then and there. i’m amazed at the little things he remembers about me. it was one of the very first entries on this blog, an excerpt from an e.e. cummings poem which reads:

“let’s go said he
not too far said she
what’s too far said he
where you are said she”

never would i have imagined this would suddenly become so relevant to me. then again, never would i have known that i’d fall so deeply in love with someone as incredible as him. my goal for this year is to let him know all the ways i love and appreciate him and to make the most out of our time together.